Together, we help carry the weight of loss.

“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”
– Khalil Gibran

Today’s culture is one that suggests we can fix anything and make it better. As doctors, those expectations are amplified. Last week, NOSM lost one of our students Braden Peters as well as a dear friend to NOSM, Dr. David Gass. The shock was immense and rippled across the school.

As doctors we are all too familiar with death. We offer comfort and support to families and friends who have experienced the loss and show empathy and compassion. Although we can relate on a human level, there are professional boundaries in place to prevent us from getting too emotionally involved. Those boundaries disappear quickly when a colleague dies, especially when it is unexpected. So, how are we left individually and collectively to respond?

Julia Samuel, a psychotherapist specializing in bereavement and the author of Grief Works, calls a “conspiracy of silence” surrounding death—a conspiracy that, she finds, can do far more harm than the loss itself. Workplaces are often inhospitable to people suffering loss and they become silent to avoid it.  It deprives people of the support that work could offer in times of mourning, erodes collegial bonds, and drains working lives and workplaces of meaning.

We need to acknowledge loss and talk about the impact that these people have had in our lives. We have to honour them and their family. We have to remember them and try to help others who struggle when they face the fact that they are gone. And most of all we should not silence our feelings.

Grief is overwhelming and one of the most painful emotions we encounter as humans. While the pain of grief is the same whether the death is sudden or anticipated, a sudden loss is shocking and reduces our ability to cope with and understand what has happened.

Take the time to deal with the loss. Be kind to each other. Compassion and empathy are part of being a human. Embrace these values. You are entitled to your feelings; you are not invincible. It’s okay to grieve your colleagues, family members; it is okay to grieve personal losses. Ask for help when you need it. Take time to find peace—for your sake and your friends, family and colleagues. And remember, we can’t fix everything.

Your wellbeing is most important. I’m here to plead that everyone check in on their classmates, colleagues, and friends, even when they say they are doing fine. And even more than that, check in with yourself. Isolation, inadequacy, competition, and failure are no strangers to us and even more difficult in a pandemic.

I want all of you to know that NOSM is a close-knit family. We have shown that we care these few weeks, we will not enter a conspiracy of silence and we will take the time to remember Braden – the dedicated student and a lovely person, friend and colleague.  Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones.

Many students are leading efforts to remember Braden in several ways. A whole-school event is planned for March 26 at 8 a.m. to remember and pay tribute to him. Please check your email for the details. A memorial fund has also been setup to honour Braden, to contribute please visit the NOSM website.

We offer our deepest condolences to Dr. Cathy Cervin and her family on the loss of her partner and a close friend to NOSM, Dr. David Gass. Dr. Gass served as the Chair of Family Medicine at Dalhousie University and as chair or member of several CFPC committees, most recently the Advisory Committee on Family Practice, Ethics Committee, and Family Medicine Specialty Committee. He was also an active member on the NSCFP Board of Directors. If you would like to contribute to the Dr. David Gass Memorial Fund, please visit the College of Family Physicians of Canada website.

Please be supportive and respectful of each other.

“Remember that people are only guests in your story – the same way you are only a guest in theirs – so make the chapters worth reading.” ― Lauren Klarfeld

Whole school web event – Remembering Braden Peters, March 26 at 8:00 a.m.

A heartfelt thank you.

A special thank you to Dr. David McLinden, Sue Featherstone, faculty, staff and colleagues in Huntsville, Dr. Jason Shack, Dr. Lee Toner, John Friesen and the Learner Affairs Officers for your caring support during a difficult time.

Emotional and psychological support resources

Resources available to NOSM Staff and Faculty: